i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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