For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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