Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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