I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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