i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
