That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
