my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
