I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just had sex on a roof
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
