the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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