you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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