I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
