I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
