Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
