And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
