Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My penis needs a shock collar
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
