Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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