dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
