I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
