I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
