I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
