i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
