while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
