I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
