It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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