I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
