It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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