I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
