After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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