I got chris browned last night
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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