One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
