I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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