Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
