and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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