it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
