we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
