lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
