Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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