No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
