How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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