Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
