the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
a search helicopter?!
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
