he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
