I didn't shave. On purpose
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
