absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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