Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
