Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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