Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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