we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
