big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
