Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
